[QUOTE=alfacristofori;5063974
Now I envy the dead. **** everything and **** my life. Only If I could..... but I am not strong. I am sorry, I am a failure.[/QUOTE]

I feel the same way. Doubt that does much to comfort you... Wish I had answers for us, other than the obvious (therapist, pdoc, exercise etc). I sooo much want to die, but there's this minuscule part of me that wants to survive. It's so ******* hard!