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Old May 12, 2016, 12:24 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is online now
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,035
Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron View Post
Yes! Expressing it totally makes it more real! As long as it's in my head I can pretend it's not true. Definitely a defence against abandonment, probably from childhood. I've been following your posts on Dear T, I know you're going through similar stuff; it seems like you're much braver at expressing this stuff than me though!
You could say braver--or just stupid, because if I hadn't send it, I wouldn't be nervously glancing at my inbox every few minutes. (Well, I check my e-mail all the time anyway, but I'm much more anxious about it than usual.) Like what if he doesn't write back? Or if he's just like, "Thanks"? I mean, if he says something like, "I'm glad you feel comfortable saying that to me and I appreciate you sharing. Well done." (which is like something he'd say), I'd maybe be OK with it. Not sure if this makes sense, but I want him to respond as himself, not as "psychologist." Like what he thinks, not what he's supposed to say (like, "I have love for all of my clients," or some BS like that!) Though honestly, a lack of response at all would worse for me, because then I'm projecting all kinds of stuff onto what he's thinking. Like, "Oh, God, now I have to deal with this again," even though that's most likely not his reaction.

OK, I'll stop hijacking your thread now!
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