I was told last night that having episodes where I'm missing time is a severe dissociative symptom of PTSD. During these blackout, is what I'm calling them, its like I open my eyes and I'm randomly in a different room or have something in my hands I don't remember grabbing. Now, these only seem to be lasting for minutes at a time but that's not what bothers me.
I've been on this sort of autopilot state of mind for a while now. I usually just don't have any emotion towards anything. Now sometimes I do and it usually just goes back to autopilot after a couple minutes. In contrast, when I "wake up" I've noticed a change in my breathing (in conjunction with being upset), something broken, my fists hurting and apparently I called my friend telling him that I was going to kill myself (keep in mind I don't remember doing these things). I didn't believe him and played back the message I'd left on his answering machine. Yep, it was me but I don't ever remember making that call, let alone saying those things.
Its like, when I go into these blackouts, I actually have emotion. Emotion to the point of being violently suicidal with homicidal tendencies. I didn't realize I was doing this when I posted on here before about not knowing why people were so scared of me. Apparently I'm scaring a lot of people. Including myself, at this point. There is the whole "What if I hurt myself," question but I'm more worried about hurting someone else when I'm in this state. I wouldn't even be able to remember doing it.

What do I do about this?