I guess I sort of transformed during the whole process. When I came on here I was hurt, living an old story. I was lost.

You are exactly right! I came on here to feel right. I also did some research on npd and bpd. That's when the transformation took place. I basically have some of the traits of npd and who knows, maybe bpd. So the experience was like. "Aha! Yes, she is so grandiose" and she is so this and so that. But if am to be honest with myself, I have those traits too. I would like to think as not as much as I used to. So when I am reading the words I want to damn her with. I realize I am the same. So how could I possibly hold something against someone when I have (or had) the same traits? Know what I mean?

So during the course of this post. I guess I just found more love in my heart.
By no means am I saying this is a healthy relationship or that it will last forever.

I guess what I am trying to say is that somewhere along the line I found a deeper understanding and out of that grew compassion. For now, I still feel like I am growing in the relationship so there is currently no reason to stop.

But indeed you are right. I came on here complaining and looking for answers. Now I am defending the person I was complaining about. I don't feel like that I defend her actions. Simply put, I don't like some of her behavior. But for now, I feel I understand it and it brings out compassion in me. Whether this will have a lasting effect and that I can be present is yet to be seen.

Possibly it points to some other concerns about my behavior. Like everyone else, I am still learning.

Please understand that I totally appreciate your feedback. It's totally helped me gain some clarity over the issue. Only time will tell. There are no guarantees.