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Originally Posted by DarknessForever
I'm sorry, Artemis-within. You should be able to voice your concerns. Maybe this song would make you and many others feel better.
Stay strong. We're here for you.
Thank you.
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Originally Posted by StressedMess
(((Art))) I've noticed the volume increase exponentially as the argument gets lost. My ex could outshout me so he always won. I became like a dog with a bone, never letting go. None of our issues ever got settled, because I'd bring them up over and over, and he'd yell until we stopped again. What a very frustrating way to live. . .
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Yeah, that's pretty much what happens at my house. Tonight I told him that very tearfully. And I told him that I don't want money issues to tear us apart. He is thinking about getting the insurance.
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket
Art - is commercial insurance not required in AZ? And why does his employer either not provide it or not require him to have it if he's a contractor? It seems to me these are the ways to get him to have it.
Also, and I say this with concern not criticism, but you often worry about something happening - always something possible but on the unlikely side going by the odds - and your mind instantly jumps to the fear of losing everything. I understand that you just bought a house and you were hit hard by the recession, and that at least a little worry is better than your husband's cavalier attitude. But I am concerned that you worry too much, and your mind goes to the worst possible outcome and dwells on it, and that doesn't seem healthy either. Maybe something your therapist could help with?
Eta: also this seems less like a money issue and more a control/stubbornness issue for your husband to me.
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He's a contractor and as long as he proves that he has insurance they look the other way as to whether it is commercial or not. I think it's one of those gray areas for them. I don't understand it. But you're right - I do worry too much. We've worked on it in therapy before and it's time to bring it up again. Because it's not healthy either you're absolutely right.
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Originally Posted by CantExplain
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thank you.
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Originally Posted by My kids are cool
Art, for what it is worth, your house is an exempt asset in bankruptcy and cannot be executed upon to collect a judgment.
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Thanks.... and yeah, I do know that, because when we went through bankruptcy 4 years ago we kept the house we were living in at the time (the one we recently traded as part of buying current house). We lost the one we had owned in CA through the bankruptcy though. And that's what scares me so much. We wouldn't be able to file bankruptcy again for however many years if the worse did happen. I don't know why my mind always goes to the worst thing. I do need to work a lot more on this.
While talking with my h this evening, after I told him I was afraid that money was going to tear us apart, he was being very rational and calm with me and didn't yell at me or get frustrated which was unusual. He said that he thinks we should go to a Financial Peace University course because it would help me a lot with my fear of money> I admit that, I hate money, I am afraid of money, etc. It controls me, not the other way around. It's how I was brought up. Money was always held over my head in every way, shape, and form. I think he's right, that course would be very good for me to learn how to be in control of my money, instead of letting it control me.
Thank you my friends, I so appreciate every one of you here.