I'm new here i just posted in the schitzophrenic section a question a bout my husband but it hasnt shown up yet...i have been diagnosed recently with clinical depression i have a two year old and a schitzophrenic bipolar husband...I've been at my breaking point for a while now but have been trying to ignore it and push through but its getting almost impossible to do anymore the only thing that seems to make me truely happy is my baby..and i feel like such a crappy parent and feel sorry for him that he has a dad who is unstable and doesn't think clearly all the time who is schitzophrenic and a mother who has sunk into a deep depression..i am there for him i take care of him and love him with all my heart it just sucks...I'm tired all the time mentally and physically i feel like I'm in this pit and there's no way out and my attempts are quickly shut down..it feel stuck in this and hopeless..i have always had anxiety and self estem issues light depression that came and went but never stayed and never was this bad..i feel so lost and alone..I'm not suicidal and i don't beleive in it..but i have these what if thoughts that have been cropping up and sometimes i just want to crawl up in under a rock thoughts...of course i dony want to die and i know its related to spme how just trying to get peace but its screwed up and it scares me.