I understand so well. Even when I am doing ok I have this deep nagging doubt telling me I am screwing up and eventually that doubt becomes a voice that gets louder and louder.
Today it took me three hours to ask how to book catering for an event. The longer I left it the more urgent it became and the greater the urgency the harder it was for the words to come out. I managed to get over that fear and just do it but then this afternoon I put off something else far longer than I should have done. I believe the expression is deliberate self sabotage. I hate that overwhelming powerlessness that follows me round.

I don't know the answer, it never gets any easier I am afraid. Yet somehow I keep muddling through and the people who know me have no idea that I struggle so much.