Quote:
Originally Posted by monalisasmile
Thank you Allheart, hugs are always welcome [emoji173]️
T asked why I was hanging onto this, why couldn't I let it go. I can't because it hurts. I hurt. I explained how it hurt more because she had said it.
She said how can we work together when you shut me out. You give me nothing. I am pulling teeth. She said you shut me out and even if you said you will go away and reflect on what's happened that would be something, I said well that is more like a response you would give not me!
She never once apologised or denied it. She said that was her personality, she is very direct. I said yes, I know that and it has unfortunately been my experience of her.
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These seem to be the exact issues I had with my ex-T.
1. My T. went from "text me anytime, I only do this with a few clients" to not returning texts even for scheduling. When I tried to discuss it, I guess I now realize I didn't believe her reasoning. I kept bringing it up because I now see it was rejection over and over. She also asked me the exact same thing - why was I holding on to the subject. I didn't even know what to say back.
2. My T. said "you put up a wall and shut people out and then they get tired and don't want to deal with it". I DON"T do this and knew immediately that's how she felt. I was shutting her out because she was constantly triggering me by her temperament.
3. My T. also told me that she can't change her temperament of being direct. She also only apologized once. When I pointed out it was the first time, she said she must not have been wrong any other time.
This is all to say that I am so glad I'm not with her anymore. She made me miserable, gaslighted me and I was no longer the strong independent woman I was. My new T. is completely the opposite (which presents it's own set of problems LOL) and I can't ever imagine having such horrible feelings with her. Your T. is slowly chipping away at you. I haven't kept up with your story but that's got to be what's happening. You should not have to constantly feel like you are defending yourself or making things right. I hope you can find someone else and wish you the best.