I'm clean off all substances. I'm also on probation which adds to the stress. I feel completely dead inside, My sense of humor is gone, Thinking feels impossible.. This stupid Wellbutrin's are just giving me side effects so far... But worst of all is know that if I wasn't around anymore nobody would really give a ****. I've always tried to be a good person, Not judge others, Help out when they need it, Don't be annoying and just make small talk, But I guess in my generation you have to be a complete tool and a loud idiot to actually make an impact on people..

Ever since I moved here, EVERY GIRL i've talked to has had a kid before they were 18, And i'm not exaggerating.. I have NO support in my life..

I'm invisible and I KNOW it's because i'm not good looking. How do you fix that? What pill can they give you for that?

My brain is ****ed up, I'm in panic all the time, I can't think, I can't concentrate anymore, My thoughts race and i forget things ALL the time. I even forget what day it is.

It feels as if god, life or whatever is out there, Hates my guts, and puts me in situations that I can't handle. I often think maybe I am one of those suicide statistics, maybe its a form of natural selection. The only reason i'm still alive is that I don't want to hurt my family, otherwise I would've painted the ceiling a long, long time ago.

The more that i've read about this stuff is that nobody is cured, they just deal with it and have ups and downs. but in reality it never gets better, So whats the point?