I don't think it was a stupid reason to stop. You want to get better, that's not a stupid reason. Having thoughts and urges to s/i is better than...less damaging than...actually engaging in s/i.

I had similar feelings when I was first formally diagnosed. (Technically it was the second time I was diagnosed, but that's another story.) I went on a "bender" of s/I for about six weeks because, what the hell, I was *really* borderline now. I had been holding back on acting on the urges for years, decades, because I didn't want to be diagnosed as borderline. Turned out I was borderline all along. I had been engaging in really minor s/I the whole time though, just nothing that was obvious.

I don't know if that helps you at all. I just wanted to say that I have had similar feelings.

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