I was drunk, making out with a guy, and remember nothing except pain, bleeding and crying. Yes, I have a lot of self-blame because I rarely feel much sexual agency and have no memory of what I "did" before the blood. It was in a club with a guy I didn't know.

My T has been helping me through the trauma but last session I left with intense anger, directed partly at her. Some of the things she said were "perhaps you enabled it," "it's your responsibility for how much you drank that night" and "it's not blame, it's just accepting responsibility."

I have a big thing against victim blaming and I felt she was straying into that territory. And it made me hate myself even more, taking on what I felt was her blame. I said "it's not a crime to drink a lot" and she said it wasn't about that, she is not a lawyer and we're not figuring out what is a crime.

But for me that matters. A sense of right/wrong matters, a culture of blame matters, and I can't pretend my issues are confined to my individual therapy session. I don't see how I'll get through this with her. I need her to help me not blame myself, not say it's possible I enabled it by drinking. I feel super vulnerable at the moment. Yes, I will explain my anger to her but I can't change her opinion if she's insistent on making me explore how I may have "enabled" getting hurt.