Life would be so much easier if I could just stop the emotional tantrums and panic attacks. Geez, we are in our 50's already. Others are saying they don't even care about sex anymore. I have tried many medications. I have tried different ways to be with him, taking the dynamic out of the picture of his initiating/ turning me on.

My soul aches to feel love and joy. The heart wants what the heart wants. But am I just fantasizing about something that doesn't exist? And now I am going to end my long marriage and be alone.

I'm scared.