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Oh, no. I LOVE that you went and spent an 1-1:30 upstairs watching my sister play games! It's not like I asked you to watch a movie with me a day or two ago. But that was a school night. You needed to spend time with dad. Wow. Way to make me feel important. I know she (my sister) is messed-up, and she needs a lot of attention, but don't I need attention too? This is the most my heart has felt torn in a long time. I know now why I hated my emotions to begin with. I don't want them. No happiness is better than feeling this horrible sickness called life.
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There are so many things wrong with me, and sometimes I believe there is more than what is diagnosed. I fear never healing, being left alone to crawl this heartless, cruel world. I hate myself so much, and sometimes, as much as I hate them, all I really want is a heartfelt hug. Will I ever make it through this thing called life? Or will I drown in the darkest depths of the ocean? Only time can tell. As for now, I just hide and I fear. This is, and will always be my life. 
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