I can relate to your experiences and feelings. Despite the great successes, your history can be haunting. Mine has been. People who tell you to "just let it go" simply don't understand the many ways this experience can affect you and for how long. The best way I have found to explain it to people is to remind them that when responsible parents raise children well, they teach them things - good things - about themselves and the world around them. And they expect those good lessons and experiences to last into adulthood. For abused children -- whether at the hands of neighbors, friends, parents -- the same thing happens, only what we carry with us are the horrors and the things we learned about others and our fears even when we are alone. It sticks with us and haunts us and robs us of really celebrating the successes we have.

I know you are in pain and probably more than you are letting on even to yourself. But you deserve to be respected in your healing process. My best advice right now is to focus on your own feelings and the only thing you should try to "just let go of" are the people who can't or won't support you in your journey of recovery.

be well,

mtd