thanks....
i am fine...

my head is splitting wide open today... maybe from couple beers i drank... not many, maybe 4-6...
maybe from all the yelling inside...
just want it to stop....
why do i hate myself... but i dont...
please i want to run away

i try to do somethings good... to help me through things...
but im always wrong... even if it feels good and right...
spinning...

it was good the other day... a quiet day...
i felt nice, i thought im fine, ive just been stressing..
everything is going to be fine, ......

was thinking maybe im just bipolar and was becoming manic...
what a joke... but how things rings in the mind...
atleast i tried to enjoy it while it lasted...
maybe thats why....

im so stupid...
maybe its just the avoidant personality tendencies...
i dont know how to hide from myself and i dont have the drugs to turn things off...
i dunno how to silence it.... someone says to try to meditate, you can clear your mind and things be quiet.. lol...

couldnt sleep at all the night of the good day... guess i made myself mad...
torture resumes... but no one knows...

my head....

sorry about writing this...
i just dont think i can handle this...

dont feel bad for me...
please dont..

i have no more words...
sorry....


Ring-a-round the rosie,
A pocket full of posies,
Ashes! Ashes!
We all fall down....


i took some naproxen for my headache... but it didnt phase it...
wish i had some pain pills... or something strong...

i feel so stupid... dont like the things saying in my head... very mean...

whatever, ill be fine..
trying not to be stupid here...
just gonna shhh