I don't know where to post this so I posted it here.

I think I've totally just given up on life. I am doing horribly in school because... well... I have no motivation for it anymore. I probably will not graduate this year. I've lost all my friends from socially isolating myself these past few years. I'm ugly too. I hate myself and the way I look. I wear makeup for Gods sake and I'm a guy. But even my makeup doesn't hide it all. I've never even had a girlfriend despite me really wanting one. The only escape I have is by reading books, listening to music, or even writing some of my own stuff. But guess what? My writing is terrible and I know it. I could never match up to authors such as Tolstoy or Dostoevsky or Goethe or Kafka or who ever. I am a failure at everything I do. So... I give up! I'm done! I'm done with it all. I don't care if I end up homeless or die a virgin because I'm just a failure at everything and life is meaningless anyway.

"I don't need no arms around me, and I don't need no drugs to calm me. I have seen the writing on the wall." - Pink Floyd

Those lyrics up there perfectly describe my situation. Because I don't care. I don't need anything anymore. And now I'm also starting to think about suicide. I'm done with this cruel world. I hate it! I never win I just always lose! I'm a loser and I know it. Even my own parents think I'm a failure. My dad sometimes insults me behind my back. I overhead him one time calling me a "queer" and a "weirdo." Now I'm going to be that low life idiot living in his parents basement. I know this sounds like a rant and it is because I just needed to let this out somewhere. I know this probably sounds like stupid 1st world problems but I don't care it feels good to let this out even if it's over the internet.