...maybe I should post here when I'm in good moods too *laughs*

Its driving me insane again. I'm in a hole of pain again and it feels like no way out...

I'm here contemplting suicide, though I know I will never go through, I can't block the thought easily... I try and smile for everyone, but I know I will hurt them all somehow someday...

...I already am with these thoughts, aren't I?

I need help... my mum took me to a psych and I'm on the verge of being diagnosed with Asbergers, but that still... I was too afraid to mention the constant pain, and notably the suicidal thoughts, my whole family was in the room with me...

I want these thoughts to stop, I want the sadness to stop, I want this constant pain and letharginess to stop before it all kills me from stress...

...and I know I'm going to sound like an idiot, there are always people with worse problems than my own....