Hey everyone
I'm new here and I wanted to know if I could get some advice on something. i have deep maternal attachment to my T and it often feels so overwhelming. When we have good sessions and I feel the connection (I know therapy is more than just feeling connected to someone, but right now the attachment stuff is kind of taking over everything else), everything feels in harmony if that makes any sense. I feel so good. When we have a bad session (i.e. we argue or I just leave feeling triggered about something), my whole foundation feels like it has been shaken. T and I have talked about this and we have basically concluded this happens because she is the closest relationship I have and therefore the most "real" (as real as therapy relationships can be, that is). She feels the most real because I'm the most real with her. Anyways, I have always been super like SUPER jealous of her other clients and was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to talk myself through this one. Also, how do you hold onto the connection when you're not together? I always question the reality of the relationship and get scared it's not real or something just disappears when I leave her office. In the past, T has worn a bracelet I gave her while she went on her trip and she has hugged my favorite childhood stuffed animal. She also lets me record our sessions and gives me notes. This may all sound like overkill and perhaps fostering some dependency, but I have grown a lot and considering my history and challenges, this has all been extraordinarily helpful. I was wondering if anyone else thought these acts of caring are good ideas or if they are doing more harm than good? Also, for those who struggle with attachment, how do you maintain that feeling of connected to your therapist between sessions?