I'm about $12,000 in medical debt. Most of it is owed to my IOP program and its built up from three years. I've been four times in three years with a $4000 deductible each year so yeah. I'm in a much better place financially and I'm slowly paying it off but that's still a lot of money. Part of me is like why am I paying for insurance when I still owe this much? But my bills would be insurmountable without it. It's ********.

My main problem is I can't keep track of all my bills. I have like six active ones right now. If I could pay online I would be able to deal with it much better but I have to write out checks and that's anxiety producing and overwhelming.

I'm hoping I'll get this new job because I'll be making at least $5000 more a year, possibly upwards of $10000 depending on how well this district pays, and I'll be able to pay big chunks off. But every time I get my IOP bill I get sick to my stomach.

It was worse when my husband was alive. He had about $10000 himself from all his ER visits he had with no insurance. Thankfully when he died that debt was absolved because he had no life insurance or estate to speak of.