Agree with Luce. I'm sorry that you don't always feel supported Eden , I think you have an enormous struggle going on within you with whatever you want to call things , demons or scary things. There has been a shift of Shamanism into psychotherapy , the Shamans would say the " demons " are our own and parts of ourselves or internalised abusers. And we have to walk through " hell " battle with them , and try to overcome them , to reach " heaven " . Then our demons become angels. I hope you will be honest with the people who are trying to help you.