Last night I couldn't sleep so I started thinking of funny things I did in the past before me digging into research on mental health, so before me knowing anything about Bipolar, psychosis and mania.
I remember that when I was little and still not that deep into my depression I was left alone a lot which I loved. My parents trusted me and we had a police man on the floor under me plus we live in a safe neighbourhood. I had a flip phone from which I was listening the radio. I heard the door open and close is my hallway. For some reason I "knew" that someone came in. I went under my bed, leaving my phone on the top of the mattress. I got so scared and by that time older me knows that I was in a psychotic episode, there was no way I was on my brain at that point. I reached for the mattress and picked up my "phone" and dialled some random 3 number phone number. I started talking complete nonsense to my non existent phone that I pulled from my mattress and then I just fell asleep mid talking. When I went back to that story I died laughing. And this happened a lot of times. Or similar things like that. I used to call my phone from my phone because I lost it in my hand.. or I would put on 2 belts because the first one "wasn't good enough" (poor belt). I tried walking through my wall because the door scared me. I ran after a woman who I thought was my mother. To be honest I am happy I don't do this anymore. Now I just stare at my teddy bear who morphs into rabbits, crickets, and whatever else that bear has "morphed" into. Oh I once ate a whole balloon which was on the other side of the room. Today I went into a bus which was completely wrong, went to the other side of the city, switched a bus and went to the other, other side of the city. And I also ate cotton balls thinking it was pizza?
To be honest sometimes I love my psychotic episodes. Sometimes.