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Old May 14, 2016, 11:17 AM
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runlola72 runlola72 is offline
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Member Since: May 2016
Location: northeast
Posts: 490
I had this same experience with my old T. I never brought it up or dealt with it in any way. Part of why I felt this way was because she was so loving and giving in therapy, and had a very sensory-rich therapy environment that was intoxicating and included incense and Tibetan singing bowls, and songs she would play. Once she played a song in session and I became obsessed with the song, and took it to mean she *liked* me. The lyrics were beautiful but a little suggestive maybe? I now can see how I completely blew that out of proportion. Anyway, I resented other clients because I wondered if all of this wonderfulness was meant just for me. I did not want to believe she shared the same meditations with other clients, and certainly did not want to believe she shared that one song. I was special, no? Eventually that therapy relationship ended when she kept raising her prices and I felt guilty not being able to pay her exorbitant fees (she did not accept insurance) . Current T does not give me much to hold onto so I feel pretty sure he is not giving other clients anything either. He's very well boundaried, and maybe that is what I need. I still feel attached, but the jealousy thing is not a factor. I have nothing to sustain me between sessions except the knowledge that I will see him again soon.
Thanks for this!
lifelongsojourn, LonesomeTonight