I can relate to this. In my case I think it stems from long-term invalidation on a regular basis by people I trusted. Have you been invalidated? Do you have any thoughts on where your feeling of wrongness originated?

In a way, it's like receiving a bad program; a malicious virus. For someone to tell you that you just have to think differently is not so easy. To say you are "looking for" reasons to feel bad - I don't get that impression. Is it more that you can't help but feel it? That you don't have to look for it - it's stamped into your brain and you want to escape it? Like your being is just wrong, no matter how much you try to be right? That's how I feel. All the talk of self-esteem, challenging cognitive distortions, and DBT never even scratched it.