Well for me it went like this
Four years ago enter therapy with marriage coming apart, severe eating disorder, chronic suicidal thoughts, all stemming from chronic childhood abuse and neglect.

Spend the first year rather superficially discussing things and not feeling attached

Start to get attached. Slowly delve into more serious past issues and start revealing depth of current issues. Am terrified of being attached to my T but attachment has taken on a life of its own. It is intense and painful. I need to constantly be reassured that my T is there. Fortunately my T is generous with out of session contact. The relationship issues seem more important than my other issues I started therapy for and I struggle with the process. My T encourages me to talk about it, reach out when I need to, etc. T gives me a transitional object and we start rituals for before she leaves for vacation etc but setimes her absence is like a knife . I.persist in believing she can not really love me.

Year 3. Attachment still very painful but I begin to.understand that *I* the one emanating the "can't be loved" thing. My T and other people In my life show me love all the time but I didn't receive it because I did not bieve I was loveable..T tells me and shows me I am.loved approximately a million times. I start to believe it. I begin to hear what people actually say instead of seeing everything through the filter of my abusive past. My marriage improves. My wife and I are communicating better and she feels more appreciated because I am.learning to acknowledge the love she shows me. I feel.more confident. I start making new friends for the first time in years. I begin to.explore my spirituality. I take up.yoga . I start learning to treat my body with kindness and begin to.take better care of it. The attachment.is still painful at times but I begin to.learn.the pain is really about grieving my childhood and working through the stories my childhood left me with
The relationship in itself is nourishing . the negative stories (no one loves me. No one wants me around
Everyone would be happier without me etc) from my past are what make it painful . I learn to start putting those stories aside and receive what the world is giving me.

We are now in year 4
My marriage is thriving. I have new friends and a new spiritual life. My eating disorder still is here but I am.much more accepting of my body and I haveess eating disordered behaviors than I have in years. Sometimes my attachment is still painful but more often it is the safe, warm, core of love inside me that I never had before. The voice of my very abusive mother which has dominated my thinking my whole life is largely replaced by my t's voice telling me I am beautiful and loved and worth protecting. That's becoming my own voice too
I sometimes have anxiety about our relationship still buy jkw more often than not I can clearly tell myself "this us old stuff from my past. My T is not like that" my emotions rarely spiral out of control anymore. I can calm myself, see how I.am reacting out of the stories my past taught me instead of the reality of my.life and relationships now.
I have finally learned to stop.reacting to.the world like I am constantly in danger. I had a large work crisis recently and never had one thought of suicide.

So it's been a ton of work but its certainly turning out for me..my T is admittedly amazing. She is a fount of unconditional love.