The answer is obvious - if you are having problems and you think they could be tied in anyway to substance abuse - then take a step back. For me, I can't go out without people pushing drinks on me, me accepting them, me spending money I don't have, me pissing people off and then days of feeling guilty. Things don't always progress that way, especially when I have things to look forward to but as of late there is not a lot going on for me so depressants truly depress and nothing good comes from them. Never mind the risk that comes from getting depressed and cocaine entering the picture. While I have been able to avoid it for the most part the last five months, it runs rampant in my scene and a single mistake can set me back a week out of every month.

My current state of affairs is especially depressing so one drink rapidly turns into 10. While this is often only a once-a-week affair, the residual effects are obvious. The list of things going wrong would shock most people but that is not necessarily what I am looking to discuss. I am looking for support in preventing myself from drinking, however, as I often find myself locking myself in my place to avoid it. This makes me feel lonely and depressed and I have just as much a hard time focusing on the important things as I do when I am drinking.

I am not looking for a 12-step and I do not currently have health insurance (one of the many mistakes I have made as of late), so a support group of those that understand the struggle of not having a good support group is what I am looking for. I am single, with no family capable or willing to help, and friends that don't seem to get that the struggle is real.

Any guidance would be appreciated.

Thanks,