I don't know what to do. I can't do this. Everything. I feel so hopeless. So alone. So much pain. It has been like this for so many years. Sometimes I feel a little bit less strong feelings, but it Always comes back.
I have no one.

I miss pdoc. I didn't saw him much and our appointments were short, but they were sort of good for me.
I don't know if I miss T-on-leave. There's just so much. So many things that are unclear/unsure to me.

Can you help me? I don't know if I can be helped. Meds helped a little bit, but it isn't enough. I can't go on like this for years and years. I'm not strong.
I feel so so bad. I need someone. But there isn't anyone. Not for me.
Help me, please.