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Originally Posted by ElsaMars
I become convinced I'm being recruited by religious sects when manic. I feel like all these signs put in front of me are people manipulating me into joining a religion. It's very distressing. Last manic episode, I thought I was being stalked by a religious cult. My son's friend was staying with us, and I kicked him out because I was sure he was part of it. (Don't worry, he had an even better place to go to, he's safe)
I get very spiritual when manic, but I do tell myself it's probable psychosis. I hope I can get into a religion and I hope it will help me, rather than hurt me in the future. Something is steering me towards Mormonism, Which is strange because I primarily identify as atheist. I don't believe in religious texts. But something about what the Mormons have in their eyes.....they look sincere to me.
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I've always been curious about Mormons. I've been given their "Book of Mormon" a couple of times. I've only glanced at them. A couple of young Mormon guys came by the house one day and we had a good conversation. They seem to be very sincere.
My parents took us to southern Baptist churches until they became Jehovah's Witnesses when I was 14. This is about the time I started showing bipolar behavior. Witnesses are very different, or viewed that way, like Mormons. I believe in God and His son, Jesus Christ. But I don't believe it is for me to tell anyone what they "should" believe. We are all individually responsible for what we choose to believe or not believe. Life is too short to be misled into religion that keeps us from being our real self and enjoying what is good in life.
My manic experiences with religion cover a long time. Some of the worst are when I feel the devil or satan is trying to influence my mind and actions. This is usually when I have gotten to the psycotic end phase of mania and end up in a hospital.