Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
Some random thoughts, DF:
Appearance, accent, hair - those who would hate on the basis of such things usually can be described by a negative adjective ending in -ist.
And there are two opposites to love: hatred and not love. They are not the same, and the latter is more common than the former.
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Thanks for the thoughts, Atisketatasket. Unfortunately, many people where I live do judge based on looks. And I haven't really seen anything good on the inside, either. I dont see a person worth loving, or someone who deserves love. Anything good, actually. I made myself believe I had to stay here because death was too kind to me. I feel i deserve all the pain I feel here. I deserve it. It's more than just looks. But thank you so much trying to make me feel better. I love that people here care. I would never say any of theses things outside of here or my T's office. And I haven't actually said this there, yet. We have talked about self hate and why, how he told me to think better of myself, but not this. But I can see the reasoning behind the last point you said. It'll give me something to think on.
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There are so many things wrong with me, and sometimes I believe there is more than what is diagnosed. I fear never healing, being left alone to crawl this heartless, cruel world. I hate myself so much, and sometimes, as much as I hate them, all I really want is a heartfelt hug. Will I ever make it through this thing called life? Or will I drown in the darkest depths of the ocean? Only time can tell. As for now, I just hide and I fear. This
is, and will always be my life.
