I agree about finding your love languages. Mine is quality time with touch/affection as secondary. It's just one of those books, I don't know how to describe why it sums things up as well as it does. There's even an online quiz.

I don't know about you having bpd. Most with undiagnosed bpd don't walk around wondering if they do, to be honest. Didn't your husband say that about you? Whereever did he pull out that label from?