Hi dwr3,
Welcome to PC.
Sorry to read of your struggles. Has your family been in counseling together, or just yourself?
My dad certainly displays npd while mom was more the style without the full blown disorder, which there's a difference. She seemed more a codep type with the disease to please. So I can sort of relate to having narcissa around.
Hope you find the support that you need. After 5 posts, moderation is released.