I don't think they are programmed through life to ignore the fact that they want tenderness and connection through sex as, in my experience, many of them are not shy about asking for sex. I think that it is more likely that they are conditioned to hide or subvert a glaring need for closeness, tenderness, connection because those needs have not historically been seen as manly. Therefore, they get sexual desire and the need to have loneliness alleviated, for example, confused. That, summed up, is what the article was talking about.