Oh, crocus!!! This makes me so sad to read. Do you see the disparity in those two sentences? There is no such thing as a perfect childhood when you call yourself horrid. Children act out due to abuse/trauma that happens to them. Children aren't "bad," it is parenting that is "bad." As i said above, I am a preschool teacher. In my 5 years teaching toddlers, I have yet to see a child that DOESN'T want to please us (me and the other teacher). They strive to be "good" and follow the rules, and get the attention of adults. That is normal development. You are NOT horrid, I don't care what you tell me about it, I refuse to believe it.