Hi Mona, I haven't been posting much lately, but I have read the things you have written lately about your T. It sounds to me that your therapy is going badly wrong. Therapy should be something where you experience acceptance and which somehow helps you to blossom. I think that you know that your therapy is not right? But you just can't quite believe it, you don't quite trust your own perceptions because it is hard to reject someone who you have placed trust in, and who we are attached to. I think we place a lot of belief in therapists that they know what they are doing, therapy needs us to do this, so it is really hard when we are confronted with a therapist who doesn't know what they are doing. Especially as the therapy relationship brings out our insecurities and makes us question ourselves.

In your posts you have said that you blame yourself, and that this has been a pattern with other therapists. It sounds like you are feeling that therapy can't help you? This resonates with me because it is similar to how I felt after my bad therapy experience. I doubted that I could ever have a successful therapy experience and suspected that I was too damaged. I manage pretty well in life though, so it was kind of surprising that I couldn't manage therapy. Now I have a good therapist, I find that I can manage therapy and I am getting a lot out of it, and my life is going well too.

I think that you manage pretty well in life too? You are embarking on a great career that should give you a lot of life satisfaction. I think you need to choose to believe in yourself and in therapy.