Wow, SaraSkyBlue. You speak some serious truth!!! I'm also in a "mixed" relationship, but gender-reversed. (Or disorder reversed!) I'm the one with BP and BF's the BPD one.

I could not POSSIBLY relate more than to your experience of (early on) not understanding his deal AT ALL! And a giant YES to calling out this (nonsense) idea of them being "so" similar. So NOT similar! Otherwise, why would either of us find our SO's behavior so foreign??!!!

Thank you so much!
I want to write more, but trying to break it out on a phone (computer's completely wonky and unreliable) is beyond my concentration ability (compounded by the additional spacecase-edness of waking up too early). But I will try later. The computer will decide, lol. But in the meanwhile, I just HAD to comment and thank you.

P.s. We've been together 6 years. It's been the wildest ride of my life (numerous decades). It's not exaggeration to say I've been both to heaven and through soul-ripping hell.
Yup, I'm stubborn. (But let's call it dedicated. Or devoted. Or loyal. Or stupid, lol. )

P.P.S. Trippin gives very wise advice.