Well, like you said-- no one can diagnose you here nor should they, with that said-- I don't think it sounds like you have anti-social personality disorder-- they break laws and rules,have no drive to be upstanding-- sounds like you do and you don't break laws/rules without remorse. You care about animals and do a good job at all the jobs you've had.

I think maybe looking into "schizoid personality disorder" perhaps?-- the lack of emotion and connection(love/friendship) is one of the traits. Also-- have you heard of "attachment disorder"? It's mainly described in children but recently has been realized that those that had it as children still show similar signs as adults when untreated.

About you getting a sort of "pleasure" when fighting with someone that has wronged you--- do you think perhaps your joy comes from the inner-projection that the person you are really defending yourself from is your father?

just some things to think about.....

Oh, and Welcome.

mandy