I've only briefly glanced over others responses here and see the debate rages. For good reason. There are no set rules on how "friends" should behave. No guidebook, unfortunately. As a church goer, I am assuming the Bible is the moral code for the community you and this girl know one another thru, but even if it's not, most religions encourage fellowship.

Regardless, friendship can be hard to define and fickle, especially among women. I have had friends for decades. One, my Maid of Honor ditched me a few months before my wedding. She was going thru problems in her life with her own fiance, family, college, etc. 7 years later, we have rebuilt the bridge again, because she had the ability to see her own failings so long ago and admit to them amd I was able to overlook the crazy pain I went thru at the time. I have another friend who is 15 years older than I and we call each other weekly. We have gone through hell together and laughed our way to the other side.

Then I have another "friend". She's technically my sister-in-law. She took the maid of honor role in my wedding and promptly made the day as miserable as she could (probably because the day wasn't about her.) She's the kind that talks a good talk about how she loooves you and how great a person she is, how she volunteers and gives to charity and on and on. She's perfect. Just ask her.
She would have her "girls days" and when I asked why they didn't call me she'd say, "Oh, I didn't think you'd want to go." Or, I thought you'd be busy." Then if my husband (her bro) and I were to go somewhere remotely near her house or do something (as a couple) that she thought she might like to do, she'd not only banshee-shriek on the phone, but convince her parents to reign verbal hellfire down on us as well, for not including her. I should also mention she has taken the emotional abuse of the silent treatment to a level that is so refined, it's practically an art form.

We no longer talk. After enduring years on emotional and verbal abuse from my SIL, who used to claim she loved me like a true sister, I finally said, "No more." I'm worth more than this, psuedo-family or not.

When people play games with your emotions, that is toxic. When they pretend to care about you, then push you away, then reel you back in, just to do it again...it doesn't matter if they're your so-called friend, a congregation member, or your sister, they are hurting you with head games. It is not worth it.

Some people, like my SIL, use "relational aggression" or "covert" aggression in their relationships, especially with other women - think "Mean Girls". There's plenty of research on it if you want to understand it more. I personally believe they do these sorts of things for a power trip. Hurting you, making you feel rejected and socially isolated while they show off their little posse of friends (whom they're likely to try and turn againat you too) just feeds that ego of theirs. It's not right. It is hurtful. It is confusing when you're on the recieving end, but it is incredibly common. Maybe the worst part about it is that females have perfected the art of socially ruining another without ever painting themselves in a bad light. They do it to you right in front of family and friends and you're the only one who knows what is going on. Their reputation remains unblemished and if you so much as say, "Hey, stop treating me this way," people will say, "but I never saw her do anything. She's always SO sweet." Their are masters of reputation management (a.k.a. hypocrisy).

Some say it's low self esteem that drives the RA behavior. So I now pity my SIL and stay as far away from her venomous manipulating as I can. The nice thing about a covert aggressor is that if you don't play their game (i.e. ask why they don't talk to you, beg for their friendship, get mad and fight back, etc), they usually lose interest and move on. They need fuel to inflate their egos. So you have to stop giving it to them.

I'm not saying that's what is happening with your church friend. I can't know from behind this screen, but maybe my insights will sound familiar. If so, you can start gathering the inner strength and social tools you need to counteract her games and put her in a checkmate if need be.

Good luck. And remember, never base your own value on how anyone else treats you. No one should have to subject themselves to toxic behavior, even when it's disguised under the mantle of religion.