I dont know how much of this I can handle anymore, I really have 0 courage to continue living this way.

About an hour or so ago I noticed these tiny red spots under my skin (which btw happened 2 years ago and I googled and said it was the C word so I worried myself for 2 years about it). I THINK I scratched that area but I'm not sure when, or I fell on it two days ago, which I also dont remember if it was on that particular spot on my thighs.

SO yeah. Here I am, crying, not eating, sitting in bed, just wanting not to live anymore. I have a therapy session tomorrow and I have 0 energy or motivation to even get myself there. I want to cancel right now but I dont know if I should.

I got blood work done about a month ago because my anxiety about my health was really high so it was in the best interest that I get my health checked then work on my anxiety and everything came back 100% normal. So now, I'm sitting here thinking my doctor missed something (which I HIGHLY doubt). Everywhere on the internet is saying that this type of rash is associated with the C word but a month ago my blood work was all clear. THEN, I had another health anxiety episode in which I thought I had a brain tumour and heart disease, went to the ER at 3 in the morning, and was told everything was associated with anxiety.

Can something else cause these things? I really need help right now. My anxiety is through the roof.