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Originally Posted by artemis-within
I just went through a really intense bout of maternal transference a couple weeks ago. I did a lot of deep work and writing (and a lot of talking about it on here!) and worked/felt my way through it. It has taken me going on 5 years with current t, though, to be able to get myself through it by relying on the stuff I have learned in therapy and 'talking' about it with all the wonderful folks here, instead of continually bothering her between sessions. Wish I had the magic words that would work for you. For me, the answer seems to be just letting myself feel the feelings and not fight them and through my writing, explore those deep feelings and where they are coming from and write it all down. And sharing here with other people who experience the same thing definitely makes me feel less like the lone ranger y'know? that helps too. And of course talking to t about it. We talk about this therapeutic relationship a lot, whenever I need to. She has so much patience with me it's amazing.
As far as the jealousy of other clients. I don't have any advice there, but I do have a kinda funny story that might lighten the moment a little. During the first year I saw t, she was in an office building and had a waiting room. One day when I went into the waiting room, I saw a clipboard on the table with her intake forms and her business card on it. My first instinct was to grab the clipboard and hurl it to the floor and stomp it into bits while chanting "MY t! MY t!" I didn't, of course. But I wanted to. I told her this little story a couple months ago after she moved back here and I started seeing her in person again. (she moved out of state after I'd seen her for a year, and we did phone sessions for going on 3 years before she moved back). We had a good laugh about it. She thanked me for admitting that to her, as well. (Incidentally, I've come a long way in that regard. From wanting to keep her all to myself, to giving her name/number to other people who have asked for a referral because they know I'm in therapy and they can see how much it has helped me.)
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5 years? Wow! Part of me really hopes it doesn't take that long and the other part of me feels comforted knowing these feelings are normal. Thank you so much for your response. I have been talking to her a lot about it - that's pretty much all we talk about these days. Unfortunately, I see how she is with other clients because she leads group therapy and stuff so that has been difficult working with her under different roles and in different environments. Your clipboard story made me laugh though
because it feels SO relatable. I have talked to my T a lot, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it gets any better and I wonder if talking about the attachment gives it more power, if that makes any sense. Anyways, thanks again. I have been abandoned by a therapist for this very same attachment stuff happening with her and knowing it is happening all over again with my current T is a terrifying feeling. Your story gives me hope.