Aha, Dontspeak, got it now. (post # 8, boy, did I fall behind!)
First, I don't think you should feel guilty (not telling you how to feel, just that what you did seems justified). She sounds pretty obnoxious. The stressors may well have tripped it, but that's ok. It was how the friendship was (and over 6 years, you'd know!), so your position was based in reality, not a sudden unwarranted outburst, like something that might be said in the heat of the moment that wasn't an accurate assesment, you know?

Do you still have the plants? For some reason, that jumped out (probably because I've got a gawdawful neighbor who had a lot of crap stored at someone's house. They had had a fire, and needed the space. Neighbor knew this, yet refused to answer her phone or contact them about getting it out of there(!!!) They finally just dumped it all in front of neighbor's unit. The level of neighbor's self-centeredness absolute blew my mind.)

I can relate to your story in a couple situations, but two different people. Most recent one let's call A, on the last one and travel front. She had sent an email that a mutual friend was coming to town, exact days tbd, and that I definitely should come along on their adventures. We'd even figured out when, as I had to work one of the potential days. Nothing. Mutual friend came and went. A couple weeks later, I got an email, most of which talked about the visit. It hurt, but I tend to cut people a lot of slack, and sent a couple of emails following this (no negativity about the visit -- I relate to your screen name!) Never heard back. It's coming up on 2 years. Maybe I should take a hint. It's a bummer because she's very funny, and was my last friend. (The visiting one has made no contact either).

The probably more relatable was B, for the drama high-maintenence front. We'd been friends for a few years, despite distance and seldom seeing. She was having a rough time, post-divorce. I told her to call ANY time. She did. Late night, middle of night (which I was ok with -- I'd made the offer after all, lol) buzzed, always with the problems. Mostly self-created. Drama, drama, drama!!! She'd ask for my advice, then never followed it, despite agreeing with it. The situation was wearing, but I never let on. (Not surprisingly, my life was never discussed. It was a one way street.) Then contact stopped. Never heard from since. (Through mutual people know she's fine.) That one was toxic, so just as well.

Yours was toxic too. And a one way street. So yes, I very much think you were finally just standing up for yourself. Good for you! If you're tempted to feel guilty at all, remember the saying, " with friends like that, who needs enemies?!" So true. I hope things settle down for you soon.

Oh! And if your therapist actually thinks you shouldn't have confronted?(!) confronting her was good. When people are like that, they ought to be told. Really, getting a free pass would be ridiculous. She needed to be made aware of how she treats other people (even though she probably knows), if only for the fact that people will hold her accountable for that behavior.