I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I had never been much of a chat and while I enjoy anime, I can see how people who get too obsessed and become obnoxious can hurt your enjoyment. And how sometimes it's like a drug and you need to go to this places to not be alone. I did it when I was like 15 but in person until I just couldn't anymore.

I also understand that desire that people answer your post in the forum, to get an answer, a confirmation that there is somebody there and get some help. That it hurts and annoys that a post can pass hours or even days without a single comment, but me I only skimmer or see others and try not to take it personal even when I feel like throwing up because this is a chat so we can feel the support and love and why no one is answering when others had like entire pages. I couldn't do what you did of posting and posting, I would have been terrified of being banned from the community for annoying the rest.

So about anger.

I can give you an answer for anxiety that I use, in part because part of my anxiety is pure anger at myself and my decisions and it's what I'm doing right now that I had been crying and I feel like a ragged doll in a dishwasher and afraid and hurtful in my back.

1.- Don't contain it. Say it out loud while crying, while cursing, while it passes. This is from mindfulness and compassionate abiding. What you feel is not wrong and you don't need to justify yourself what are you feeling. Bottling it up only make it worse and like everything, it will pass. Accept the pain, see it and know that you will not die or be destroyed by it. Trust me, I know that it sounds hard and it's hard. Doing it a couple of hours ago I was in so much pain and crying and I think I was going to be crazy. Know I feel tired and rung down but calm and more collected.

2.-Write it. It's what am going to do after this. Grab a notebook and put it forth with all my heart and anger and what tiredness what happened, what I felt, what were my thoughts as If I was vomiting (sorry for the analogy that you had such an unpleasant vomit but for me I always feel better after taking it all out and that's the image I think). Sometimes I burn it up and with it all the hurt and anger (I did this with the hate and later resentment I had with my father and so many that hurt me).

3.- Try to see something else. Yes I know it's the same advice other people gave you and I'm a little hypocrite because I haven't done that today since i had spent my time reading articles of "mindfulness" or "anxiety" or skimming this forum to find information or get some pats or something, but I'm going to do it after this post. Try to cut the circle of thoughts with an anime you like. I would recommend

One punch man (if you want action)
Kaffuku Graffiti (it's calm and the food scenes are gorgeous and hilarious)
Bunny Drop
himouto umaru-chan
I Can't Understand What My Husband Is Saying

I hope some of this advice was helpful and that as of right now, things are a little better. I don't know what to tell you about your mom since mine had been my pillar this year and send me to a therapist (and keep sending me) at 120 miles from our home.

As I said, I will leave this forum and try to let my mind wander. I had not eaten anything today and I need to cut this loop, so If you see I don't respond if you put a comment is because of that and I'm sorry. I hope you are better, I really do.

You are worth so much and you will find people that make you mad and hurt you even in places you believe are safe.

Be well and truly, you are not alone. This forum might take time but people here truly care for you and want to help you. We all want for you to be safer and happier.