I know the depression is getting bad again because I haven't showered in 4 days, and I am sitting here in my pjs watching crap on Netflix. I've been doing weight watchers and had lost some weight, but the last few days I've been back into bingeing and sleeping in late. I missed my weight watchers meeting yesterday because I was feeling too depressed to get out of bed. I've been thinking more about disappearing into the wilderness again, a lot of thoughts about escaping this life.

I think this is situational depression. Back in January I got a job at a daycare and was working with the 3-4 year olds, and I loved being with them. I was doing really well, better than I'd been in years. But my application for my ECE Assistant license has been really slow being processed, and I am now indefinitely working with the school age children because now that I am working 5 days a week, according to licensing, I am not allowed to work with the 3-4 year olds. No matter my education and experience. I dread going to work now, because I just don't know how to handle school age children, and in my opinion the daycare I am working at provides poor quality care, parking the kids in front of the tv or wii for way too many hours each week. I hate working there, but I need the job and the money.