I regret calling my therapist. She left a message, but basically said if I truly thought talking to her would help, to call between 8:30 and 9, or if I couldn't talk then, to go to the er.

When I told her last week I was feeling like I was getting depressed, she said that therapy might be doing me more harm than good at this point, that I was struggling for things to talk about. She said we should go down to every other week. She said that there were no more meds to try (true). I wasn't looking for a med change (she's a psychiatrist). I was simply trying to be honest about my mood change.

We agreed not to go to every other week, and she encouraged me to be more honest with my thoughts and feelings. I've been monitoring them closely as to not make her mad, which I realize is a projection on my part.

I have not called her in a very long time, and I thought I'd be honest about struggling tonight. I feel like an idiot.

I hate the mood swings. I hate going from feeling wonderful to feeling horrible. I hate feeling like no one gets it.

I don't know the right way to be, when I think I'm being honest and I'm not believed or taken seriously.

Sorry for the depressed post. I don't know where else to "talk" about it.