I think my bf is getting ready to dump me soon. I know it's hard being around me because I still have so many days of being depressed. I don't think he can understand, sometimes he hints that his being in my life should make my depression go away, or at least be much better. It must be a chemical imbalance because I've had several things that are good happen, and I still feel so miserable. Anxiety is really getting to me, all these years of taking benzos so they don't really work unless I take more than I should. Sometimes I envy my mother who is likely not going to live long, at least she can know she won't suffer much longer in this crazy world.