Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2
We are all having some form of identity crisis which amounts to one huge one system wide again.
In the past we had to build a fictional character that everyone contributed to for the soul purpose of functioning in todays society.
Today however, everyone has their own agenda and idea of what we should be....we are clashing quite a bit being not on the same page.
It's scaring us because this is like uncharted territory and have no idea of which way to go with each of our traits overlapping other traits in a days progression which amounts to some bit of embarrassment to the Other it treads upon.
For instance, I (Sherri) and Susie, Bobbie like femining it up and doing things like going shopping, but then the guys bleed in on how much they abhor it, then we fight over it and then they have regrets while we are like upset that it's not right that it's a male thing and we have to be quiet....no way Hosea.
And nobody gets it.
Who lives like this???
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Before I was integrated I didnt have this problem. each of my alters had their own sense of agency (their own jobs, purposes, reasons for being, who and what they were, ...) each alter was how ever they were when they were in control.
it was only after integration that I had a problem of how to be, what to wear, how to behave and what to do out in public. everything the alters were had become me, so for example going to work entailed many changes of clothing, looking at my schedule to try and match what was going on that day with everything else because I now had so many feelings and choices going on, it was a bit overwhelming. for a while I divided my stuff up in categories of work, sports, hanging with the family... so that I didnt have so many emotions and choices going on. over time I managed to fall into a routine where I knew what was what.
my point even though this didnt happen to me until after integration I can understand what you are going through. what helped me was including these topics in with my sessions with my treatment providers. they were very helpful on how to all these decisions on my own.
a suggestion instead of worrying about each one trying to do the same things, maybe fall back on letting each one behow ever and who ever their sense of agency is. this way there will be less stress and chaos. then later on as its supposed to happen everything will fall into place.
another suggestion if this continues to bother contact your or a treatment provider in your location who can help with this based on whats what in your own location for these kinds of things.