No sugar coating here Eden.

I'll answer your two questions after I acknowledge the elephant in one of your past post that follows you now, and will continue to follow you until it is addressed by you and people are reassured the elephant has been corralled, taken care of, and snuffed out. The issue is your deities not only want to hurt you, but also want to hurt and destroy other people; innocent people. So, unless you can give assurance, and reassurance to most every reader here that you will not ever bring harm to anyone besides yourself, then you will continue to get many posters that ignore your need or want to get support in the fashion you desire. This is my observation from looking at patterns of different post.

BUT, I get pretty upset, mother bearish, and indignant when one talks about hurting another. No one has a right to take the life of another. (Please don't say what about war?) You are having those thoughts eden, so of course many here want you to down that pill, inject that drug, spill your guts to psychiatrist, psychologist, and the CIA, if it will get you off the streets, locked up and drugged up till that ONE symptom to hurt others goes away.

I believe you post, because you want a way to stay alive, so I respond, and encourage you to hang in, because I know it ain't easy. Especially, as easy as your responders postulate it to be. If it was, our own dramas would have been attended to long ago, and we would be leading the pain free lives, the relief, that so many of them are promising you.

Now to answer your questions:

1. I don't know if you should be scared of your psychiatrist. If it were me in your shoes at this moment, I would because I have no better alternatives. If I had to put my trust in the demons or the psychiatrist, I'm going for the lesser of the two evils: the psychiatrist. The demons have had you in a lot worse shape than any psychiatrist has put you from all you've shared.
2. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but usually it's about money. They won't keep you anywhere longer than they need. From what you share here, as to what you tell them, they don't have much to go on, and they have to guess, and pull teeth. So, they make decisions without input from you. What do you think is the worse that would happen if you came clean with them? Has anything the demons commanded of you given you any relief from your woes that are worth talking about? From my own experience and from what I read here from others the thoughts in our imaginations are far mor painful than what happens in real life.

My hope is that will hang in eden1515. I sense a fighting spirit in you, and my hope is that you are willing to hang on long enough till you trust somebody to help you in your search for relief... Sometimes honesty hurts.

ETA: My humblest opinions only

Best wishes,
wtr