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Old May 16, 2016, 03:27 AM
Anonymous45127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003 View Post
I'm not sure if I want to make a separate thread about this, but has anyone felt like their problems aren't "good enough" to be in therapy, or even that whatever happened or didn't happen in childhood isn't a "good enough" reason to feel the way you do currently?

Ok, i will explain a bit more. I am diagnosed with chronic depression...been going on for about 13ish years (though I think maybe my T thinks I have been depressed longer than that...i am not sure about that), and have dipped down lower...and come back up to baseline for me, which is basically like living in a world of grey.

But...i have felt like this for so long, that it doesn't necessarily "bother" me...it feels normal, you know?

Sooooo...anyway, my T has recently brought up that my extreme prematurity (born at 24 weeks) was a major trauma and really effected my attachment process--i spent four months in the hospital, i don't think i was even allowed to be held until about a month after I was born. She said that because my attachment process was interrupted, I have a very deep sense that I can't trust anyone to really be there for me, and has affected my relationships. I do agree that I am very avoidant-fearful, and haven't even TRIED dating anyone in 13 years.

This is also complicated by my confusion on sexuality...which i do keep avoiding talking about.

ANYWAY, the point i am getting at, is it makes me VERY angry to think that all of my current issues are due to being stuck in the NICU for a few months after I was born? That feels completely lame. I know my T isn't judging me because I haven't been abused or had any tragic losses--I should be (and am, mostly) grateful i didn't experience those things! I think part of it might be that I can't connect to this infant who had a intense few months still cooking in the NICU. Obviously, I don't remember it.

Well..i've wandered off tangent.
Just read on Facebook that childhood cancer survivors can get PTSD.

Preemies are vulnerable and often experiencing needed but invasive treatment.
Thanks for this!
unaluna