Old T. I don't want to leave you. Actually that isn't how I see it, you are leaving me in my mind. I know and amgrateful that you said it was important because of the past that I didn't feel abandoned by you because that isn't what I'd happening but try telling the seven year old in me that. I dreamt of you last night. I dreamt that we had a session but it was at a party and New T was there. You spike to her and realised that it wasn't right for me and then you came back and said that you would keep looking for someone who was right and that in the meantime we would continue.

How am I to know what is right? I can not trust myself to make this decision. Sometimes I think it is right and sometimes I think it couldn't be more wrong. Do I even need to do this? I don't need anyone else in life and no one else needs me. If I stay alone then life is OK so I don't need to do this. But we both know that I don't mean that, it is just a way of reasoning with myself.

Please don't make me do this on Wednesday, I am not ready. I thought I was but in reality I don't think I ever will be. It just isn't fair.