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Appointment went well. It was hard, and I almost cried, but it went really well. He asked me to do some things before the next appointment, and it's causing me some anxiety. He says some of my emotions are linked to my false beliefs that people will automatically hate me or be disqusted with me, so he wants me to encounter them instead of just talking about them. Really freaking out. I know he's right, but still. Anyway. We are going to continue talking about it our next appointment. Thanks for all who were with me. It's comforting knowing people care and are thinking about me during my appointments. I appreciate it!
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There are so many things wrong with me, and sometimes I believe there is more than what is diagnosed. I fear never healing, being left alone to crawl this heartless, cruel world. I hate myself so much, and sometimes, as much as I hate them, all I really want is a heartfelt hug. Will I ever make it through this thing called life? Or will I drown in the darkest depths of the ocean? Only time can tell. As for now, I just hide and I fear. This is, and will always be my life. 
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