I hear you. As I understand it, they are waiting for a bed for you in the intensive program, and while you wait you attend a day program. This arrangement from what you have posted does not seem to be keeping you safe. What is your vision for you and them, and your therapist to keep you safe till a bed is available for you?

A hospital can be the worse place to be for recovery from what you are going through, but unless you have another solid support system in your life to get you through, then maybe you may need to be there in this moment. So could you maybe for the moment relax, and enjoy having your phone, and diet soda. What other little treat can you get passed them to have a few more victories on your side while waiting for this obsessive compulsion to hurt Pink settles down a little more? What do you have waiting on the outside? The people on this forum are not enough. Right now, you are for the most part physically safe, and it's okay to rail against the system. I am not putting you down for that, I just hope you'll think before your next move. They will hear your demand for release, open the door, then what? You, will be repeating the same cycle again as you wait for a spot in the program you mentioned. Hang in there PinkFlamingo.

Many times, I am very direct with putting my thoughts out, and don't know how to finesse them, and can set people aback. It seems to be a cultural and family trait. If this is not helpful, please let me know.

I do believe that you want to heal and you can heal, and their are people, programs, and situations that will put you on that more solid path.