Hello NotImportantAtAll: The Skeezyks welcomes you to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

The Skeezyks is an old man now. But, years ago, I suffered very much as you have suffered. I don't know if it destroyed my life. But it certainly didn't help. I found what you wrote about the diagnoses you've received & the results of the testing that's been done with you to be of interest because I've had similar experiences. I've been told I just have depression & maybe anxiety... nothing too serious... I'm not a mental health professional. But I suspect I probably have some PTSD as a result of what I went through. And, from what you wrote, I would imagine you do as well.

Not knowing how things work in your country, or what services are available to you, I can't really offer much in the way of suggestions. I think it is important though to find some type of mental health services as soon as possible. And also keep posting here on PC. Writing about your circumstances can help. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more connected to the community you will become. Also, once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved, there are chat rooms where you'll be able to connect with other members here on PC in real time. You may find this beneficial as well.

I will tell you that if your experience is like mine, the trauma you have suffered will not go away by itself. Even at my now advanced age, I believe I still struggle with the after-affects of what I experienced. So please do pursue all available opportunities to get the help you need. My best wishes to you...